In this situation, reframing was used to expand the scope of the perception of the child's situation, but the technique can be used to help a parent myself to look at the problem situation outside the box. Example. I stand at the stove, cook a little longer soup. And now for 5-7 minutes to complete this grand process, my son enters the kitchen. He wants to play with me and he is not there nothing to do with a full pot of boiling water and other dangers inherent in the kitchen. The first thing I want to do – is to explain to him that is dangerous to be here and it would be nice if it waited for me for 10 minutes in the room.
But then blesses me. I want my baby is not approaching plate. But this result can be achieved by setting himself a different task: "Make it so that the child wanted to be outside the kitchen!" Just born a few options, which in turn is realized: for that it was interesting to run away, I suggest playing catch-up, it's interesting to sit quietly in the furthest room from the kitchen – hide and seek that he was passionate about the game, in which initially there is a need for solitude – the game "Put your things." All three proposals son gladly accept. Sometimes parents are very pushy, authoritarian imposition of the requirement in question to the child. This directiveness often provokes stubborn child that helps him somehow feel their independence. Sometimes children refuse to do anything just because of stubbornness. In these cases effectively use the techniques of soft impact.
These techniques involve there is a wide choice of mood and lack of policy on the part of parents. For example, when I taught a child to the pot, I ran into stubbornness. Even if he wanted to use the toilet, it was worth taking him up to be attributed to the pot, he began to squirm and go on strike. So he defended his right to freedom of choice. Nothing to do but it is right to give. I used the method of Erickson impact "Imaginary choice." As soon as I felt it's time I came to her son and said: "Jaroslaw, you want to pee: a toilet, a bath or a pot?" He said some of the options for him more desirable. The trick is that in such an utterance on the installation desire has been laid and there are several alternatives, one of which selects a child himself. This is just a few steps. In the arsenal of mass psychology. Psychologists themselves are willing to share them, but they are often hinders the principle of "Do not knocking on closed doors. " Much depends on the willingness of parents to obtain information, to move towards a more competent and informed parenting. Mastering the practice of constructive ban will help parents enhance their behavioral flexibility to find more creative, less pressure on the child's trust and give him more freedom. Such prohibitions or restrictions will not only develop the child's sense of responsibility for their own choices, but also contribute to the development of his personality as a whole.